Holy Buckets – The Playoffs Are Mostly Over!

12 07 2008

Note: What follows is possibly the worst thing I’ve written since Young Authors in 5th Grade. (I wrote a parody of Danger Mouse. Does anyone else remember that cartoon?)

Mind you, there are nine and a half minutes left in the opening quarter of the earlier of today’s two conference championship games, and this is when I’m spurred to put something down on the Internet. When I have a matinée to get to by 1:00. Suffice it to say, we’re not going to New Orleans this year. Though there’s going to be a live-blog, with God as my witness. You know who else isn’t going to New Orleans? The Rush. Also the Desperados. Because they got blown up by 6-seeds. The AFL – It’s Total Nonsense!

Oh, dear me, Raymond Philyaw just got Cleveland within 1 by continuing to play out of his mind. He threw his first interception of the playoffs earlier in the quarter, and just allowed himself to get a faceful of defensive lineman after lofting a perfect ball to the corner of the end zone for Amey (is a girl’s name). Which seems like as good a start as any for Quick Notes On the Playoffs. Raymond Philyaw is the single biggest reason that Cleveland could shock the world.

They probably won’t, because Philadelphia is in really good shape, health-wise, and skill-wise. Though they almost lost to New York, so I clearly know nothing.

GRAND RAPIDS? REALLY? Grand friggin’ Rapids? Is this because I made fun of them in my season preview? Because I’ll admit that we didn’t know which team would show up from week to week, and were equally confused by their 91-point games as by their 31-point games.

Oh, look! Instantaneous zoetrope examination for correct officiating on the field of play! The current Chris Jackson touchdown catch is under review (and was ruled an incompletion – BOO), but the decision to add instant replay mid-season has already paid monstrous dividends, getting the call right at the end of last week’s New York/Philly tilt. Hear that baseball? You have the technology, you can rebuild him. (“Him” being “your umpiring crew’s credibility.”)

Hey, look: San Jose is quietly marching to the Virgin Mitsubishi Daiquiri Arena Bowl Presented by Ambien or something. The least-flashy team might actually defend their championship? I kind of like that. I also hope they beat the tar out of the Rampage. Sorry, Rampage fans. But my God, your inconsistency makes last year’s Columbus run look positively steady-hand-on-the-tiller’ed.

It’s the Celebrity-Owned Conference Championship vs. the “Who Owns This Team?” Conference Championship. Where’s Bon Jovi and Jaworski, anyway?

Other stuff we missed: EVERYTHING. Hey, my dentist-in-training co-editor, do you have any idea why we suddenly got remarkably bored with crafting clever bon mots in the interest of silly indoor playoff foot-balls?

Happy Conference Championships, everybody! (Picks: Philadelphia, San Jose.)

P.S. Shaun King just made fun of himself getting killed as a Las Vegas Gladiator. Classy! Self-deprecating! Also, Raymond Sillyname apparently was a house guest of Bernie Kosar in the offseason. Quickly! Who’s a good scriptwriter? I have a pitch!


BREAKING: Paul Edinger re-signs with Rush

5 06 2008


Apparently disoriented after his original exit from the Allstate Arena, Edinger, with his back positioned to the door that almost hit him on the way out, re-entered the facility with equalled accuracy just in time for the Rush’s playoff run.

According to Edinger,

“It’s all fun,” he said. “If anything, [the narrow goal posts] can’t help but improve my accuracy. And I just want to play. It’s still kicking a football and that’s what I really love doing.”

So much so that he apparently ditched his wife at their new Costa Rica home to get back to Chicago. That tag is there for a reason, kids.

Hat-tip to our buddy Sam for the lead.

Live Blogging the Playoffs – Philly at Georgia

8 07 2007

What a difference a QB makes

Welcome to ISF‘s continuing coverage of the AFL playoffs – tonight, the previously-maligned-turned-J’s-favorite Philadelphia Soul at the Georgia Force. After both head coaches declared victory would come with 60 minutes of intensity and Jaws walked on the field in jeans and a polo that ranks one step above flip flops and swim trunks, Georgia starts out the game by returning the opening kickoff for a TD. As a qualified individual that watched both the NCAA BCS championship game and last year’s Super Bowl, I predict this will not go well for Georgia.

…And I spoke too soon. On Philly’s second snap of the game, Graziani launches a bomb (as he’s sacked) to Larry Brackins in the end zone, who not only fails to catch the TD pass, but lets Georgia come up with an INT. If JBJ is in the house, the double bird can’t be more than a few minutes away.

After the commercial break, commentators Ray Bently and Dave Pasch (is this the new first string for ESPN2? I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve heard the siren call of Trey Wingo) use a bunch of stats (note: TC will call me a sissy if I discuss actual statistics) that Georgia is very, very good (the comedy rule of three says I should use a parenthetical to end this sentence).

Georgia’s second play of the game, Derek Lee (not of Wrigley fame) catches a long bomb from The Scrappy Chris Greisen. Georgia leads 14-0. Either Dave or Ray says that Philly needs to “circle the wagons” to get back into the fight, after which Graziani completes a pass to the state of Mississippi. Sissy Statistic Alert: Philly has the second-most regular season turnovers of any team in the playoffs, but I suspect this is in part due to the brassy Interim QB Juston “SLING IT” Wood.

Dang – I forget how big Wes Ours is. He’s like the boulder in beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark with legs. Ours’ catch sets up a TD pass to James for Philly, who trails only 14-7 after the PAT – Graziani is really calm in his post-TD interview, saying it’s still early in the game. In the amount of time it took me to write the previous sentence, Georgia scores yet again via a quick shuffle pass to Bergeron, but they clang the extra point, extending their lead 20-7. The alarm alerting me my laundry is ready to go into the dryer goes off, and I suspect that by the time I get back from the basement Georgia could be so far ahead that I’ll see a combination of cheerleaders, Mildly Freakish Mascot Blu, and small children taking the field against Philly.

Getting back just as the first quarter ends, I’m shocked to see the score is the same – turns out I don’t know as much about the AFL as I thought. Since I’ve been in a media blackout since Saturday, I flip over to ESPN to see the final tally of yesterday’s games. …WHAT. THE. HELL. I must be in the Twilight Zone or a Frank Capra movie. COLUMBUS beat DALLAS? Okay. I officially know nothing about this league, after you take away THERE IS NO PUNTING (has yet to be uttered this game) and THE GOAL POST IS VERY NARROW (mentioned twice). Not that I was planning on it, but I won’t quit my day job.

UPDATE: THE GOAL POSTS ARE VERY NARROW is mentioned a third time as Philly converts a FG, bringing the tally 20-10. Also, it turns out the footage I saw of Jaws on the field with his guys was because there was fist fight on the field prior to the game – it looks like Philly DB Eddie Moten (?) was just decked by some Georgia players taking the field. Regardless of whether or not it was Moten (UPDATE: it was, and he was talking a little trash), he draws some Georgia blood by picking up a fumble deep in Georgia territory shortly after the replay of the fight. I’m beginning to think these live blogs go much better when TC and I tag-team it up – as much fun as it is regurgitating what’s happening play by play, I’d rather discuss Graziani’s absurdly loud hard count, which he just used to perfection to bring some lineman offsides – too bad it was his own. Philly settles for a field goal, 20-13, and I giggle as I imagine Tony in the new ISF running gag, Careers Poorly Suited for Graziani’s Hard Count: this episode – Midwife (“IT’S TIME FOR YOUR FORMULA! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?”)

Georgia Coach (of the Year) Doug Plank, for whom the Bears’ 46 Defense was named after by Buddy Ryan, briefly gives an in-game interview, saying that defense in the AFL isn’t given enough credit. Ray and Dave agree, then completely ignore the comments after Doug goes back to coaching.

Bergeron gets his third TD of the game off a nasty tipped pass, putting Georgia up 27-13. Considering it was Philly that tipped it into Bergeron’s arms, I think Plank’s stock footage of laying down hits for the Bears is most likely going to be the best defense I see for the rest of the game.

Graziani gets NAILED as he throws. He’s not getting up. I think Philly’s 2007 season may have just ended.

Leon Murray goes in for Graziani, and Wes Ours goes down so hard my beer just spilled. Tony’s looking like he might go back in, and I think of Minnesota Twins favorite Brad Radke, who pitched through the end of last season with an arm held in place by chewing gum and chutzpah. It’s 4th and short for Philly – THERE IS NO PUNTING. Tony’s pass is incomplete. The Georgia fans have something better than lame thundersticks – buckets with handles glued to the side and drumsticks. Surprisingly, STOMP is not a sponsor of the Force.

From 4th and short near the goal, Georgia’s offensive coordinator calls on Greisen (who looks kind of like Hayley Joel Osment in a football helmet?) to run a yo yo, like he’s calling a trick play on par with the one in Rookie of the Year when they fake out a base runner with the rosin bag. Greisen makes his way out to the huddle, then suddenly runs back to the sideline and asks if he should run an option. Greisen gets the go-ahead, and runs in the easy TD. As the Force widens the gap to 33-13, it looks like this one may already be over.

At the 1-minute warning, I’m putting in my Way Too Early Arena Bowl XXI Prediction: Georgia and San Jose. I’d like to point out that so far in the playoffs, I’ve called a full 3 of 6, so I wouldn’t put too much stock in anything I have to say, unless it’s about Brett Dietz being very interesting.

As Graziani gets hit for the sixth time, he throws a pick, but it’s ruled as a late hit and offsets a blatant face-mask by Larry Brackins. With 31 seconds left in the half, we’ll see maybe only four more scores. Didn’t intend the Lincoln-esqe alliteration there – my bad. Graziani makes up for a third down pass to the Philly bench by completing a pass down to the 10.

Tony connects with Jerry Jones for a TD with 9.4 seconds left on the board, the extra point is blocked – barring a TD bomb from Georgia, Philly will go into the half trailing by two TDs, which they could make up. In our time, we’ve seen crazier things happen in this league. Such as a team based in Texas totally blow at the game of football.

The Sunday Night Injury Bowl continues as WR Troy Bergeron, who’s been solid for Georgia all season long, has a grown man fall on his knee. This reminds me why I did nerdy stuff in high school, and continue to do such activities to this day, like play slow-pitch softball, which led to a knee injury two weeks ago when a less-than-nimble second baseman fell on my knee as I slid into the bag. So, clearly, my life decisions have done nothing but benefit my physical health. Philly gets to the half just barely preserving a two-TD defecit, following 33-19.


What I said the last playoff game with Philly involved applies here as well.”


Within the first 4 minutes of play in the third, Graziani gets Philly within the Georgia 10, then throws a pick, and Greisen lobs a TD pass to Chris Jackson, but Georgia bounces the PAT off the upright. It’s 39-19, and Philly’s going to have a very hard time getting back in the game if their O-line can’t keep Graziani on his feet. Surprise – as I typed the previous sentence, Tony’s knocked to the turf again, this time one of the DT’s lands on Graziani’s leg. This is the ninth time Graziani has been knocked down – for some reason I can’t help but think of David Carr’s career with the Texans.

In the amount of time it takes me to take a leak, Philly scores – 39-26. I have no idea how they pulled this off, but I suspect it involved Graziani being on his feet for more than three consecutive seconds after the snap.

Philly almost picks off Greisen on two consecutive plays? Am I seeing a little defense? In arena ball? A hard count pulls Soul DL #98 Bryan Save off the line, and Jackson pulls in a Force TD two plays later, so I guess the answer is no. The 2 point conversion fails (yay, a little defense!), Georgia leads 45-26 as the third begins to wind down.

Listening to Graziani’s mic on the Wired Up montage of his hits throughout the game (also, we got to see three angles of his arm getting mangled earlier in the season), I am amazed that not once does he scream out an expletive. I usually curse at something as minor as the presence of clouds in the sky or cream cheese in my sushi, so I’m naturally impressed at Tony’s ability to keep his cool when his shoulder is forcibly taken out of its socket. At the end of the third, Philly is in Georgia territory, still behind 45-26.

Larry Brackins starts out the fourth quarter by pulling down a TD and Philly closes the gap to 12, 45-33. Philly almost recovers a fumble on the kickoff return, but the returner as ruled as down, so Philly doesn’t have the ball at the Georgia 10. Jackson scores a TD on the next play, Georgia misses the PAT, but the Force lead by 18, 51-33. The hope I had for Philly to get back in the game goes as quickly as it came, like the slap bracelet fad in 1996.

Force DL Mike Sutton is on my good side after he helps Graziani up after he gets knocked on his ass yet again. Two plays later on 4th and 10, he gets hit again and can’t make the completion. Sutton takes him down after he got rid of the ball, so Sutton is back to neutral in my book. Georgia takes over on Philly’s 10, and on the second play Jackson gets his 3rd TD of the half – the extra point is (surprise!) good, Georgia’s lead increases to 25 with the scoreboard reading 58-33 in their favor. With a scant 8:45 left in the game, that could very well have been the nail in the coffin of Philly’s season.

…I spoke too soon – the ensuing kickoff takes a huge bounce and Georgia recovers at their own 5. That was the nail in the coffin, as I’m pretty sure Georgia will be able to go up by another TD on this possession. They get it on the second down. The PAT clangs in, and Georgia has almost doubled up on Philly, 65-33. I’m a little disappointed for Philly, but I can’t say I’m surprised.

Chris Greisen’s Wired Up montage shows us that he likes to pound things and say “Yeah!” – it’s almost like watching that one frat guy at a party that is having a blast, or he’s Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer:

Something I’ve always found a little odd about football is that when there is little to no doubt about who’s going to win, the losing team manages to get a good drive in – Larry Brackins pulls down a TD, and after the failed 2 point conversion, the Soul have chipped away at their deficit, 65-39. All they need is to recover four onside kicks in 2:21, and they’ll walk away with the W.

With only two minutes left in the game, I feel like I can take a quick bathroom break without missing too much. Except maybe of the end of the game – time me!

And, that’s it. Graziani gets a kiss from who I presume is his mother on the sidelines – a touching moment (completely serious here) as Graziani carried the Soul throughout this season, and showed some real brass staying in this game after getting knocked on his can constantly today. Kudos to Georgia, who dominated this game from start to finish. Kudos to JBJ, who wasn’t caught on camera being obscene for a full 60 minutes. Tune in tomorrow night when TC takes the reins as the rickety Rush host Sonny Cumbie and the Avengers, the outcome of which will determine what TC decides to do with the rest of his life.

Playoff Week 2 Point/Counterpoint Mercifully Ends With Los Angeles At Chicago

6 07 2007

DeJuan Alfonzo Wants To Know “How much for the women? Your wife, the little girl…”

 I’m calling this game the “Where Should TC Live?” Bowl. Metropolitan areas that both of the ISF editors are familiar with to some degree face off on Monday Night. This’ll probably be the game we “live”blog, too, as TC has a wedding to go to and assorted other dorkitude to attend to this weekend. And J has a date.  <Full House Studio Audience> ooooOOOOooo…. </Full House Studio Audience> ANYWAY.

MONDAY: Los Angeles at Chicago, 8:30PM ET. ESPN2 (If you’re curious.)

TC SAYS: This game makes me nervous, as a fan of the Rush. The Rush are the ricketiest of the 4 bye-provided teams, and the Avengers are probably the most solid of the other four, with the possible exception of the Soul. The win over Utah last week shouldn’t have surprised anyone (AHEMJoeAHEM), but they showed surprising resilience on the defensive front and capitalized on five Utah turnovers. Chicago was pretty banged up in the week 14 loss to the Avengers, but they rattled off three straight impressive-ish wins, and then had a week off. Hohensee used most of the bye week lightly, in order to keep everyone healthy, and that’s good for Matt D’Orazio, because it means Bobby Sippio is at-or-close-to 100%. The Rush had DeJuan Alfonso and Jeremy Unertl named to the All-Arena team. Jeremy was also named to the All-Needs-A-Vowel-Or-Two team.

J SAYS: Good call on Utah losing, Friday Morning QB. Likewise, I’m a little nervous for the Rush’s prospects – Bobby Sippio’s Bear-Claws can only carry the Chicago so far, and if LA surprises All State Arena with a little defense, it could be a long night. Also, you can’t write off LA QB Sonny Cumbie – he does have “all the clubs in the bag”.

THE BOTTOM LINE: (TC) Matt D’Orazio isn’t as fidgety as Joe Germaine, and Bobby Sippio salvages most of the mistakes he does make. Utah wasn’t a good defensive team this year, and Chicago is. Sonny Cumbie has been good, but erratic. They’ll make the game interesting, but that’s probably the best they can hope for. (J) Chicago is a stronger team than Utah overall, but they’ll have to dig deep to keep a comfortable lead in this one. LA shouldn’t be written off, especially since they surprised Georgia in an upset victory last month. If Chicago’s D shows up strong, though, D’Orazio and Sippio should be able to keep LA in check.

TC’S PREDICTION: This might be close, but a healthy Chicago means they should control this game. Los Angeles can’t afford to make any mistakes if they want to stay in this one.

J’S PREDICTION: TC will most likely decide to stay in Chicago if he bases his life decisions off a football game. Which didn’t work out so well for this guy.

Okay, so it’s Week 2 of the Playoffs: Point/Counterpoint (Philly at Georgia)

6 07 2007


Muppet-esqe mascots with measles agree [JESUS CHRIST, that’s terrifying! -TC]: Sunday’s game between Philadelphia and Georgia could be, dare we say, exciting? Maybe we’ll just settle for “probably better than the previous games previewed”.

SUNDAY: Philadelphia at Georgia, 7pm ET.

J SAYS: When Philly has Tony Graziani at the helm, the Soul look as good as anyone on the field, except of course for the Soulmates. As we learned in his scouting profile, Graziani “has all the throws” and a “lightening release”, not to mention a deafening hard count that either draws the defense offsides or kills birds in mid-flight (Tony would be great as a caretaker for the elderly – “IT’S TIME FOR YOUR SPONGE BATH, MR. CURMUDGEON”). However, Georgia has been dominant since the beginning of the season. QB Chris Greisen is good enough to pull a Kurt Warner, receivers Chris Jackson and Tony Bergeron are two of the AFL’s best (I know, I know, statistics are for pussies), and Georgia is hosting tonight’s game. I’ll take drunken southerners over denizens of the City of Brotherly Love any day of the week, unless Santa Claus is involved.

TC SAYS: I really like Chris Griesen. He got the crap audibly kicked out of him in the Philly/Georgia game in Week 6, shook it off and continued to throw daggers. If he’s not the next quarterback to make the jump to the NFL, the he’s the next AFL lifer, and I think his counterpart across the field this week, Tony Graziani, would agree that there are worse things in life than playing a game you enjoy and getting paid (if not handsomely, then at least consistently) for it. J’s got an excellent point in that Philadelphia is a team of winners with Tony Graziani (“I REALLY LIKE YOU BUT I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE!”) at the helm, and a team of strangers when he’s not. They’re not as dominant as, say, Grampa Gary expected them to be at the top of the season, but they’re certainly a dangerous team. Since Graziani came back, they’ve lost to Dallas by three, and to Tampa Bay’s Dietz Machine. Soooo…

THE BOTTOM LINE: (J) Not to knock on Philly, but Georgia can be overwhelmingly dominant. The Force won’t make the errors that killed Orlando when they played Philly last week, and as good as Graziani is, he may be hard-pressed to keep up with Greisen. We may get treated to a few more JBJ double birds this weekend. (TC) The only team that was ever going to be a challenge to the Dallas/Georgia dominance in this conference: Philadelphia. This one’s a-gonna be a duel.   

J’S PREDICTION: Even though Philly will stay in the game, Georgia will be in control from the start to finish. Lucky for us, Jaws’ tears grant immortality and the uncanny ability to break down game tape.

TC’S PREDICTION:You know what? I think this’ll be the only upset this week. That’s right, I’m going out on a limb and saying The Scrappy Chris Griesen’s season ends on Sunday. And that’s a shame, because he seems to be a sturdy fellow. These are the best kind of predictions, because if I’m right, hey, I’m right! If I’m wrong, the team I also like still won!

Yes, It’s Playoff Week 2: Point/Counterpoint (Columbus at Dallas)

5 07 2007

Brooke Makes Me Feel Funny Inside This Will Become Familiar

Last weekend’s games were exciting and dramatic! This weekend’s games look to be a little less so! Will the top two seeds in each conference remain intimidating, or are major upsets afoot!?! (Hint: no.)

SATURDAY: Columbus at Dallas, 8PM ET.

TC SAYS: I’m not going to use any “stats” in this one. Stats are for sissies. I may not use any “facts,” beyond the one that says Dallas lost but once this year, and has looked like assassins in doing so. Columbus’ quarterback and offensive coordinator don’t seem to get along. I executed some precision TiVoing to get that conversation verbatim, by the way. If Seth Marler hadn’t gone all Xavier Betitia in the last 5 minutes, we’d be having a much more interesting discussion about Brett “Dammit, I’m From Kentucky, I Only Played In Finland” Dietz vs. Dr. Clint “I’m Sorry, I Have Trouble Hearing You Over My Cheering Fans” Dolezel. But noooooo. Instead we get Cranky Matt Nagy stomping his foot ineffectually as Dallas DBs run in the other direction with the ball.

J SAYS: Verily. This is a classic David and Goliath story minus David, Goliath, and slingshots with rocks. Stats are for sissies, you say? You are right. J’S JAWS-LIKE REFERENCE OF MEANINGLESS STATISTICS: Columbus was the only team to make it into the playoffs with a losing record (7-9). Also, the fact that I was cock-blocked in Nagy’s SportsNation chat a while back doesn’t bode well for the Destroyers.

THE BOTTOM LINE: (TC) I don’t think Columbus has a prayer. Dallas has made next to no missteps all year, is led by a veteran with an outstanding supporting cast, and – most importantly – hasn’t been caught by the Magic ESPN Microphones getting into catfights with his coaches. (J) When I think about Dallas playing a football game, I get all tingly and goose-pimply. When I think about Columbus playing a football game, I get bowel obstructions.

TC’S PREDICTION: The only source of drama is whether or not Dr. Dolezel will also sleep with Matt Nagy’s wife/significant other/sister. His prescription: scoring.

J’S PREDICTION: The only source of drama is how many times Dr. Dolezel will sleep with Matt Nagy’s wife/significant other/sister. And whether Brooke (below) will be in the mix (yes, she will).

Oh, and to make up for the potential dullness of this game, I need to share Dallas’ representative to the Aaron’s Dream Team:

Brooke’s Interests Include: “Japanese Inspired Cuisine, Harry Potter, Donnie Darko, The Three Amigos, and Steel Magnolias.”

(TC) Brooke, I cordially invite you to sleep with me immediately see The Order of the Phoenix with me next weekend when it comes out.

(J) Brooke, I cordially invite you to move into my apartment play naked Twister re-enact the “Call On Me” video a fine dinner of sushi and screening of the Director’s Cut of Donnie Darko.

Playoff Week 1(2?): Point/Counterpoint (Colorado at San Jose)

5 07 2007

John Kaleo (#3) is no Matt Nagy, but this could be a common sight Saturday

The playoffs have arrived. Are you ready for the action? Are you ready for the drama? Are you ready for Jaws to perform in-depth game tape analysis while wearing casual-Friday attire?

Here’s our opinion of this weekend’s games, presented in a totally hip-n-fresh point-counterpoint format (in real-time!), which will be all the more fun because we’ll probably agree with each other on every game.

SATURDAY: Colorado at San Jose, 3pm ET.

J SAYS: On paper, both San Jose and Colorado are pretty similar – the SaberCats have only netted about 200 yards of offense more than the Crush have during the regular season, they have roughly the same number of turnovers, their uniforms appear to be inspired by the WAC conference.

The difference in this game, though, is (surprise!) the play at QB. For San Jose, Mark Grieb has averaged a completion percentage of 71%, compared to John Dutton’s 60.9%; Grieb has 99 TDs for the season, Dutton a trifling 80. Holy shit. I’m talking stats. This is disgusting.

TC SAYS: Regular season storyline of note: Damien Harrell is considered a Reasonable Bobby Sippio Facsimile, or perhaps vice-versa. In 2006, Damien Harrell set the AFL record for recieving TDs. This year, in both C/Rush bowls, Harrell was even with – one could even make the argument that he outplayed – Sippio, in two duels of the AFL’s star wide recievers. Neither of those games were won by Colorado.

THE BOTTOM LINE: (J)San Jose clinched their division with a 13-3 record and outscored their opponents by a net 251 points this season while Colorado limped to the playoffs with an 8-8 record, and were outscored by 65 points on the year (dammit, more stats – sorry!). Colorado, who traded blows with a mediocre Kansas City and won possibly in part due to a late-game fumbled snap, is playing San Jose, who is anything but mediocre, at home. (TC) Yeah, we’re probably going to agree on a lot this weekend. So, I’m goign to digress: Colorado’s backup QB is Former Purdue Whatever-The-Opposite-Of-Standout-Is QB Brandon Kirsch.  Who is notable for – according to those in the know – being a legend in his own mind, and subsequently forgoing his senior season at Purdue for no rational reason whatsoever. It also gives me the opportunity to reminisce about the year that the Purdue team was portrayed as comic book heroes. Including – and I didn’t notice this until now – one section of the marching band.

J’s PREDICTION: San Jose is going to walk away with this one. Elway will be able to spend his free time next weekend figuring out how to stage a coup and make the AFL into the NFL’s minor league.

TC’s PREDICTION: San Jose in a walk you say? Pretty much. I’m thinking that this week begins my triumphant “I Told You So Tour,” as San Jose has been rocking my face off since Week… 7? I think? Mr. Chairman, I yield the remainder of my time to my collegue.