Week 7 Power Rankings, CMRP, and Pillow Fights: JM is in training right now!

18 04 2008

I’m at Excel training right now! Time for some good ol’ fashion blogging! Grampa Gary, you’re getting roasted in bold after the jump!

AFL Power Rankings (Week 8)

1. Philadelphia Soul (7-0) | Previous: 1 | Week 7: Beat San Jose 58-57 | Next: at Columbus
The Soul were down by as many as 26 points before they made a strong second half comeback. It took a late touchdown and a game-winning two-point conversion to get past a good San Jose team that made the Soul earn their seventh win. And to think, Matt D’Orazio did it without the help of Bobby Sippio.

2. Dallas Desperados (7-0) | Previous: 2 | Week 7: Beat San Jose 55-44 | Next: Bye
QB Clint Dolezel was in playoff form as the Desperados won their 15th consecutive regular season game. They did it versus a very good VooDoo team, especially on defense. Dallas played a solid game in all three phases to keep pace with Philadelphia. If they meet Philly unbeaten, let’s hope it’s a little more compelling than the Pats-Colts game last season.

3. Chicago Rush (5-2) | Previous: 4 | Week 7: Beat Kansas City 49-42 | Next: vs. Grand Rapids
With starting QB Sherdrick Bonner and several key defensive players out with injuries, the Rush played a gutty road game against an underrated Kansas City defense. After a great first quarter, they struggled the rest of the game but made plays when they had to and earned the win. Russ “The Little Dutch Boy” Michna will not be denied.

4. New Orleans VooDoo (5-2) | Previous: 3 | Week 7: Lost to Dallas 55-44 | Next: at Arizona
The VooDoo ran into a complete Dallas team and New Orleans’ usual explosiveness on both sides of the ball was missing. QB Danny Wimprine was solid, but he was pressured all day by the Desperados defense and his own defense struggled to get pressure on Dolezel. You see, they should have ran around the complete Dallas team.

5. Orlando Predators (5-2) | Previous: 5 | Week 7: Beat Grand Rapids 75-56 | Next: at Georgia
The Predators have won five in a row and this game was more of a blowout than the score indicates. Shane Stafford led a solid offensive effort and the Orlando defense shut down the usually explosive Grand Rapids offense. Predators… surging? Time for Other Gruden to hit the town and celebrate!

6. Georgia Force (3-3) | Previous: 6 | Week 7: Bye | Next: vs. Orlando
The Force are back in action versus bitter division rival Orlando after a bye week. They are starting to gel on offense and look like they can make explosive plays on both sides of the ball. They are showing solid improvement. Time for a training montage! This time, it’s personal.

7. San Jose SaberCats (3-4) | Previous: 7 | Week 7: Lost to Philadelphia 58-57 | Next: at Utah
The SaberCats played good defense early, but couldn’t hold on late versus a strong Philadelphia offense. Offensively, they got a strong game from QB Mark Grieb, but lost on a last-second two-point conversion. What’s missing with this team? Reader Fez would suggest JM’s AFL mancrush and MN native Ben Nelson.

8. Colorado Crush (3-3) | Previous: 9 | Week 7: Beat Cleveland 69-66 | Next: at Kansas City
Veteran QB John Dutton is finally starting to settle in. He’s playing with excellent consistency, throwing eight TDs and rushing for another in Week 7. The Crush played a clean game in the second half and the difference may have been two Rashad Floyd interceptions. Should a guy that’s been around the league since 2000 take half a season to find his rhythm? Meh, I guess it worked for Eli Manning.

9. Arizona Rattlers (3-3) | Previous: 15 | Week 7: Beat Tampa Bay 63-62 | Next: vs. New Orleans
The Rattlers had a huge fourth quarter, scoring 29 points, and they made a couple of key plays on special teams in a surprise road upset over fading Tampa Bay. They were crisp on offense with quicker passing plays and better pass protection. BOO LANG CAMPBELL.

10. Cleveland Gladiators (3-3) | Previous Rank: 8 | Week 7: Lost to Colorado 69-66 | Next: at L.A.
This was a tough loss in front of an enthusiastic home crowd, but Dutton played a little cleaner game than Raymond Philyaw. Two key Crush interceptions and Cleveland going 1 for 6 on third down conversions were the difference. Sadly, this is about the same as the other times Elway and Kosar have battled on the field.

11. New York Dragons (3-4) | Previous: 13 | Week 7: Beat Columbus 62-44 | Next: at Tampa Bay
The Dragons have played three solid games in a row on both sides of the ball and as long as QB Aaron Garcia is healthy, they can move the ball on most defenses. Defensively, they did a nice job shutting down a good Columbus offense, especially in the first half. Grampa Gary totally just jinxed Garcia.

12. Los Angeles Avengers (3-4) | Previous: 14 | Week 7: Beat Utah 79-62 | Next: vs. Cleveland
The Avengers put together a solid offensive effort versus a Utah defense that doesn’t make very many plays. Los Angeles finally played a pretty clean game without the game-changing turnovers that have plagued them in recent weeks. Wait to beat up the asthmatic second-grader of the AFL.

13. Tampa Bay Storm (2-4) | Previous: 10 | Week 7: Lost to Arizona 63-62 | Next: vs. New York
The Storm are really struggling. They played poorly on special teams and couldn’t solve Arizona’s short and quick passing game. Plus, Tampa Bay’s usually reliable defense gave up a whopping 29 fourth quarter points. Do not make Brett Dietz angry, New York. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

14. Grand Rapids Rampage (2-4) | Previous: 11 | Week 7: Lost to Orlando 75-66 | Next: at Chicago
The Rampage are starting to fade and their blowout loss to Orlando was basically decided by halftime. They could not move the ball consistently versus a Predators defense that pressured QB James MacPherson all day and the explosive pass offense we’ve seen in recent weeks was missing. Is it possible the Rampage were a fad, like Slap Bracelets?

15. Columbus Destroyers (2-5) | Previous: 12 | Week 7: Lost to New York 62-44 | Next: vs. Philadelphia
The New York defense set the tone in the first half, shutting down a usually good Columbus pass offense. The Dragons offense exploited good matchups versus a struggling pass defense and a pass rush that didn’t apply much pressure. Destroyers? Hurting on defense? I’m shocked, I tell you, shocked.

16. Kansas City Brigade (0-6) | Previous: 17 | Week 7: Lost to Chicago 49-42 | Next: vs. Colorado
The Brigade play hard, especially on defense, but they just don’t seem to have enough playmakers and aren’t a very explosive team right now. After getting behind early, Kansas City fought to get back in the game and gave Chicago all they could handle down the stretch. D. Bryant, 4 TDs to 2 INTs will not cut it in the AFL, nor will having an initial for a first name.

17. Utah Blaze (0-7) | Previous: 16 | Week 7: Lost to Los Angeles 79-62 | Next: vs. San Jose
The Blaze continue to play respectable offense, but also continue to play very little defense. They are still the most one dimensional team in the AFL. This game was over in the third quarter and not as close as the score indicates. The Utah Blaze are the line segment connecting “crap” to “tacular”.


CMRP: Thanks to the handy work of them Philly Soul, CMRP stands at an impressive 5-1. This week, we’re going with an obvious W, the loser of last week’s CMRP, San Jose, over the ass-rags of the AFL, Utah.


WEEKEND PILLOW FIGHT: Is it technically “Pillow Fight” or “Pillowfight”?


This weekend, Colorado and Kansas City will hopefully (“hope fully”?) work it out for us.





2 responses

18 04 2008

“Boo Lang Campbell” eh? You nailed that one. I just got back from the Rattlers-VooDoo debacle. Lang looked eerily like Jeff Smoker. That is, he SUCKED. The VooDoo Crushed us. Face it, the top 5 AFL teams are good, the remaining dozen are interchangeable. Well, except for Utah which double sucks with cheese.

19 04 2008

Am I just seeing Futurama references that aren’t there, or is

Time for a training montage! This time, it’s personal.

from the episode where Bended joins the Ultimate Robot Fighting League?

Also? Wooo! Soul gonna, well, Destroy Columbus on Monday!

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