One Fleur-de-Lis for each time I flashed my chest for beads when we were in N’awlins.
National Conference, Southern Division
2007 record: 5-11; Arena Bowl championships – see alternate universe
Nightmarish mascot “Bones” balanced by Muppet-ish/Phanatic-esqe “Mojo”
Head Coach Mike Neu is a free agency mad genius
Paragraph About Upcoming Horror/Delight:
Time to be perfectly honest – most of the previews I’ve handled have been a cursory look at last year’s performance and any significant roster changes. Looking over this season’s roster, though, I am slack-jawed: Neu made some serious acquisitions on both sides of the ball, and I daresay that this New Orleans team I wouldn’t have noticed last season could be dangerous this year, even in a tough division with Georgia, Tampa Bay, and Orlando. If they’re this year’s Tampa Bay, I will gladly tell you I told you so.
Bullet Points About People:
Newcomers WR/DB BJ Barre, DB Lin-J Shell, and WR Chris Horn (who seems to be in some NFL squad’s team every preseason) scheduled to go on team-building retreat in Louisiana outback
Head coach Mike Neu’s main office located in abandoned oil platform in Caribbean that’s being upgraded into a Super Doom Fortress using FEMA debit cards
QB Steve Bellisari nagging Tony Graziani to have an “Italian Off”; challenges to include recalling Dean Martin lyrics and naming as many salami varieties as possible in 20 seconds
New additions to the team. Relative unknown QB Bellisari. Kicker Jonathan Ruffin won the Lou Groza award at Cincy. Red beans and rice.
Tempting nights out on Bourbon Street. Tough division. Overall lack of experience. Possibility of bad Mojo.
Completely Arbitrary Prediction:
The VooDoo rebound from a disappointing 2007 season with an 8-8 record because I’m not that confident in my sleeper pick. Mike Neu takes over New Orleans with a genetically-enhanced voodoo lady that shakes her stick and drives you crazy with that BOOGIE. BOOGIE. BOOGIE.