Eric Crouch: A face of the All-American Football League
Hooray for more wacky football times! Livia, occasional and superb contributor to Snarkastic.com (the personal Internet empire of Holly, of Ladies… fame) snuck into the AAFL draft and found it to be a delightful Rube Goldberg device comprised of madness dressed in football uniforms. I shall excerpt, and link, for I can’t do the whole thing justice. My favorite bit:
12:23 Team Tennessee introduces their protected players. My heart breaks a little when I see Tee Martin. Tee Martin: National Championship Quarterback, Peyton’s Successor, One Of Tennessee’s Greatest Players…reduced to this. He is not smiling. I don’t blame him. Former Vols on this list include Jason Mitchell, a linebacker, and James Wilhoit, beloved kicker. I would be remiss if I did not tell you that Rod Smart, aka “He Hate Me” of Western Kentucky and the XFL is also on our protected list.
So even though they’ve just told us all that we have Tee Martin, Tennessee uses its first pick TO TAKE A FUCKING QUARTERBACK. Way to show some confidence in your man, Andy Kelly.
I wish my obituary could start with “…loving husband, devoted father, beloved kicker.” I occasionally daydream about what it would’ve been like if I tried to get on my high school’s football team (go Eagles!) as a kicker, and I now have further reason to rue the fact that I was small, relatively uncoordinated, and arty. Anyhoo, another quick gem:
1:40 The overall atmosphere is sad, desolate, and full of barely repressed fury simmering under the surface, with a healthy amount of flop sweat. From now on, I’m referring to this place as the Brady Quinn NFL Draft Experience.
1:52 Eric Crouch…how art the mighty fallen. Lethargic applause from even the most dedicated Texas fans.
I mentioned this in Holly’s comment section, but it bears repeating: I occasionally still have nightmares from the 2000 Alamo Bowl. If The Mighty Zak Kustok could be involved somehow, the circle could be complete.
Also, Chris Leak apparently won’t be competing with Kyle Orton or Rex Grossman for the Bears’ QB spot, so… yikes.
So, the All-American Football League: football, in the Spring, played on normal – collegiate! – fields without gimmicks. I’m curious to see what 2,000 fans in the Big House looks like. Vis a vis the AFL: Commissioner Hagrid could totally beat up the AAFL Board of Managers, though maybe not all at once. I figure Jack Lengyel is pretty scrappy. More football year-round is a good thing, and I don’t really think this is going to take anything away from the AFL. So, abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
Thanks, Holly and Livia.