Our 4 Off-Season Readers, Toledo Needs YOU!

8 01 2008

Toledo Has a Pretty Stadium

It’s not often that we discuss af2 stuff, because we know barely enough about Arena Football Prime to avoid sounding like drooling asylum escapees. However, the announcement that the City of Toledo needs assistance naming their team compels me to emerge from my off-season slumber, climb into my AFL minaret (it’s half the height of normal ones), and raise the call to help embryonic Lucas County Commissioner Ben Konop.

Konop posted a request for ideas on his blog, and, by God, he deserves our help. The leaders at the moment, according to the mighty Toledo Blade are the Walleye and the Woodpeckers. No wonder Big Ben wants our help. It’s mentioned immediately in the comments that the idea of people chanting “Lets go, ‘Peckers,” is one that makes you go “…ehh…” Though, The University of South Carolina does a brisk business in “Cocks” hats, and there are certainly enough douchebags, high schoolers, and those inhabiting the the Venn Diagram union of those two groups for there to be a market for both “Cocks” AND “Peckers” hats. But I digress. In the comments section, so far the suggestions include: the Panes (Glas City, y’all), various frog-based names, Pride, Mudogs (?), Shards, Jeep-based name, and the snarkiest answer, “The Pathetic Lucas County Government Diversions.”


Reading the suggestions kind of broke my brain, so I open the floor to suggestions.

P.S. Kirk Herbstreit was on Pardon the Interruption yesterday, and the video screen attached to the Superdome was imploring people to order their VooDoo season tickets. NATIONAL ADVERTISING, MY FRIENDS.




4 responses

8 01 2008

How about the Glass Jaws? (GlassJawz?) There are lots of suggestions along the lines of Glassmen in the comments, but you don’t want to dilute the drum corps brand!

Or if you want to consider inspiration its sister city: The Visigoths?

8 01 2008

I like Glass Jaws, reminds me of Glass Joe from Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!

How about the Toledo War to commemorate the bloodless land dispute in the 1800s?

Well, not entirely bloodless, apparently a guy from Ohio named Two Stickney (younger brother of One Stickney) did stab a Michigan sheriff’s deputy.

9 01 2008

Having been to Toledo on a few occasions, might I suggest the Toledo Zzzzzzz? Or the Toledo HeyLookMoreNothings? In all seriousness, the Toledo Glasnost. It has an international appeal.

17 03 2008
Not from Toledo but have to shop there

I personally like:

Toledo Old Spice -to cover up the stench of the armpit of Ohio
AND Nautical! Guess who would get naming rights? “Ahoy!”
Now go vote for more taxes and more potholes…

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