Woody Kern was majority owner of the Tampa Bay Storm for 13 years, and under his stewardship, the Storm won Arena Bowls in 1996, 1997, and 2003. The new owner, Dr. Bob “Buzz” Nucci, is a Tampa-based orthopedic surgeon, specializing in spinal injuries. Presumably, negotiations looked like this:
Kern described his operational losses over the years as “managable,” but only after Nucci bought the team did he add, “Hahahahahahahaha.” Nucci will pay $18.4m over 30 months, but there’s no word on how favorable the interest rate is. (Buy now! 0% for qualified buyers! Walk off the lot with a quasi-major sports team! Everbody owns, regardless of credit!) I hope he got a good warranty, because you know as soon as it’s paid off, the transmission’s going to go, or some part you’ve never heard of will need to be replaced.
Storm QB Brett Dietz reacted by gazing into the middle distance, nodding imperceptibly, saying “Brett Dietz approves,” and then leaping 40 feet into the air to catch a passing eagle, which Dietz then rode to his mountain aerie home.