“Wait… what if… we just turned the ‘G’ for ‘Gladiators’ into a ‘C’ for Cleveland?”
“Brilliant! Be sure to tell Bernie Kosar immediately!”
[A month and a half passes]
“Did you remove that little serif that makes a C a G?”
“Oh, um, yeah… totally…”
[Hasty design work takes place]
“…Maybe I can write ‘Cleveland’ in that font… yeah, that makes sense…”
They also removed some of the jaggies.
“‘Gladiator’ represents an individual who sacrifices everything in the name of hard work – which is perfect for the city of Cleveland,” said Gladiators owner Jim Ferraro. “It’s also a familiar metaphor used for football players and for the fans who watch them play.”
I always thought ‘Gladiator’ represented an individual who sacrifices everything in the name of not being mauled by tigers or in the name of pissing off and ultimately killing Joaquin Phoenix. But, yeah, I guess that’s “hard work.” If they start calling “The Q” “The Qolosseum,” I’m going on a tri-state killing spree.
Bernie Kosar said “We have been building this the right way with a top quality coaching staff and players that will be proud to have “Cleveland” on their uniforms,” before awkwardly flinging the logo side-armed at the assembled press corps.
In other Cleveland news, their recent signings include WR/DB Cornelius Bonner, who It’s Still Football has described as “serviceable.” Also serviceable: the Cleveland Whatevers have a fan site all set up (it’s extremely red), AND, you can (finally) buy season tickets, just in time for your preferred Winter Solstice Holiday.
Oh, and before I forget: so you can keep track, the Gladiators changed conferences, so they’re overloading the Mitsubishi National Conference Mitsubitshi Eastern Mitsubishi Division, sponsored by Mitsubishi Motors.