If you want to get technical, the newsies depicted weren’t members of the press.
As was implied yesterday, Joe and I will be hopping in either my private jet* or his luxury yacht** and heading to New Orleans for
Super Arena Bowl XXI. (That strikethrough – awkward) That’s not the exciting news, though. The exciting news is that, as part of the AFL’s “Blog of a Lifetime” Hyperbolically Named Contest, your acerbic servants will be bona fide, accredited, members of the press corps. Eat your hearts out, Medill grads! With our unparallelled access access parallelled only by legitimate news agencies, we want to provide you, the fan (or otherwise curious party), with information you can use. To that end, we plan on passing along anything interesting from the press kit, as well as random-ass interviews with whoever we can get our hands on. Extra P wants us to interview the fans. Done and done. We’re more than open to ideas, and while we don’t necessarily want to make the Arena League Powers That Be regret giving bloggers press credentials, we’re willing to make as much trouble as we can get away with.
In order to blend in with the rest of the ink-stained wretches, we’re going to buy our fedoras, wear our ill-fitting suits, and correspond as often as we are able. Hopefully, we’ll be remarkably drunk during some of it.
Our to do list, as of lunchtime today:
- Meet Commissioner Hagrid. Take picture of me being dwarfed by him. Perhaps have him palm my head. Then ask penetrating questions, perhaps pertaining to NFL Europe’s demise and the AFL’s relationship to the NFL. Discover whether or not he’s afraid of the Elway Coup.
- See Styx. Seriously. They’re the entertainment on Saturday night. My friends and I called information one time and asked for “Tommy Shaw of Styx fame,” because we lived in the same suburb. Information hung up on us.
- Go to/perhaps enroll Joe in the AFL combine. Interview hopefuls. Hopefully they will have entourages. I couldn’t figure out what the plural of “posse” is. They all looked wrong.
- Talk to the Mikes. See what they’re really like. Follow them, while humming theme from The Odd Couple.
- There’s a 5AM tailgate. J wants to go in PJs.
- Ask funny questions in the press conferences that we’re allowed and encouraged to go to submitted by readers.
- Hang out in the media’s hospitality suite and try to converse with foreign journalists.
That’s all we have for right now, as I recall. We have a week and change to make our plans. I’m giddy.
*2003 Ford Focus
**200X Oldsmobile Intriuge