Can’t Miss Random Pick Victory Party!

29 05 2007

Three lackluster cheers for the appropriately mediocre Can’t Miss Random Pick! The re-invigorated Soul did what they had to against the Austin Underachievers. In other news, the Chicago Tribune had a article about career .200-ish hitter and former Stanford QB Joe Borchard‘s baffling inability to live up to his potential. Mind you, Borchard hit the longest home run I’ve ever seen in person – it bounced off the concourse facade at Comiskey Park/US Cellular and back two or three rows into the seats – but his batting average has hovered right around .200. I think this implies that he should pick up a Spalding again, and fight for a spot with Matt Nagy in Columbus or something. I’d like to see the guy succeed; by all rights, he’s a pleasant fellow, and it’s never too late for a former quarterback.

Anyway, there were some games this week, and I’ll get more thorough updates after lunch. For right now, we’re going to try to write one sentence that encapsulates each game PERFECTLY. It’s a brevity game we journalists like to play. (Note: I may be making that up.)

Utah 65, ORLANDO 62: I said that Utah would be okay in shootouts, and I was right, which makes life worth living.

San Jose 48, NASHVILLE 34: Nashville’s clock control can’t stop my dark horse team; again, it’s hard to be so correct.

KANSAS CITY 62, Los Angeles 56: The Brigade continue to be successful at home, and the Avengers continue to weave through the end of their season like Lindsay Lohan at 5:30 AM (topical!).

Colorado 56, GRAND RAPIDS 58: Don’t let Brian Gowins beat you, because he’ll do it without remorse.

Dallas 56, COLUMBUS 47: If Dr. Dolezel didn’t slap Columbus around like interns, as I’d like to do to specific interns – the perpetually whiny ones on Grey’s Anatomy (topical!?) – I would’ve been both shocked and appalled. 

GEORGIA 52, Tampa Bay 38: Order is restored to the universe, as Tampa can’t string a game together, and The Scrappy Chris Griesen returns to fine form.

Chicago 53, ARIZONA 47: This score is closer than the game actually was (I hope), and Bobby Sippio had best get healthy before the playoffs, or the Rush are royally screwed.

Philadelphia 76, AUSTIN 66: Philly is back, Austin remains bad, I win.

New York 69, New Orleans 63: Way more exciting than Old York vs. Old Orleans, unless you count the Battle of Agincourt, which probably indirectly involved those two cities. (Topical!)

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