What you’re Googling: Almost everything but the AFL

25 04 2007

Just try to make an analogy using ‘harder than’ that isn’t blatantly sexual

Every now and again we’ll take a look at our dashboard for It’s Still Football and have a hearty laugh over the Googles totally psyching the shit out of you. Today, the Google search of “can you block extra point in Madden 2007” prompted the Fiz to tackle some of your non-AFL related queries.And to whoever wanted to know if you can block an extra point in Madden ’07, you can, it’s just more difficult than converting a field goal in the AFL.

VARIATIONS AND COMBINATIONS OF ‘BRETT BASANEZ’ ‘DAVID CARR’ and ‘CAROLINA PANTHERS’:It is true, the pride and joy of the Northwestern Wildcats (don’t hate, historically we don’t get much to brag about) QB Brett Basanez spent most of his rookie year on the scout team, but after the departure of Chris Weinke, Baz moved up, ready to take over for the Panthers should Jake bust his leg or get Guitar Hero wrist. Until, of course, Carolina signed Carr. TC elaborated on this transaction, wondering if either Carr or Basanez could end up in the AFL, where Matt Schaub is almost certain to end up after he gets murdered behind the Texan’s O-Line (any one of these guys, by the way, would be stellar in the AFL). Although we don’t really have any useful information on the transaction, this search is deemed CERTIFIED RELEVANT.

“ESPN2 2007 PAINTBALL SCHEDULE”:Congratulations, you’re officially a bigger tool than two guys writing a blog about the AFL for shits and giggles. Enjoy being a virgin and kicking ass in World of Warcraft. CERTIFIED IRRELEVANT.

“AUSTIN WRANGLERS SUCK”: Yup, you pretty much nailed it, Googler. CERTIFIED RELEVANT.

“BOOTSY COLLINS CARICATURE”: I’m pretty sure that someone inexplicably looking for an artist’s rendering of the lead singer of Jefferson Airplane/Starship doesn’t really want to know about a defunct Cincinnati AFL franchise from the early ’90s. CERTIFIED IRRELEVANT.

“GUIDE TO PILLOW FIGHTS” + “PILLOW FIGHTS ESPN”: That’s hitting it pretty much right on the nose, like the guy that searched “AFL + Jokes + Investment + Bankers”. And actually, if ESPN2 broadcast actual pillow fights, I think their ratings would greatly improve. CERTIFIED RELEVANT.

“MASSACUSETTS”: Don’t worry, we can’t spell it either. CERTIFIED IRRELEVANT.

“EXCUSES TO LEAVE WORK EARLY”: If you need to Google that, something tells me you’re not really going to convince your boss to let you go. CERTIFIED IRRELEVANT.

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