Repent, for the end is nigh

24 04 2007

Satan has a mean left hook

Look at the signs: 

  1. The Warriors are in the playoffs and won their first game, and a 6’3″ caucasian Canadian could be voted the NBA MVP for the third year in a row.
  2. A-Rod is arguably the best player in baseball, and a 42-year-old sack of torn cartilage and steroids is on track to overtake Aaron’s HR record
  3. In Monday night’s Arena Football game, Philly at Columbus, the first quarter was scoreless in a defensive battle; ESPN2 cut to commercial just a little late, as a result, we heard Trey Wingo ask Mark Shlereth, thinking they were off the air, “What the heck was that?” The final tally: Columbus 44, Philly 21 – as though it were a real football game.

The Good Lord has given us all the clues we need. The Sports Apocalypse is here. I hope you’re ready for the Cubs to win the World Series and the Browns to win the Super Bowl, which will immediately result in the End of Space and Time.

We hope to hell that Jesus actually is our homeboy, and that Satan isn’t having an affair with Saddam Hussein; otherwise we’re completely boned.




One response

24 03 2008

i dont like jesus & jesus will not love us even.christianity is sick joke.dont belive that fucking shit

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