John Albert Elway, Jr., or Joseph William Namath? Pansies. Weaklings. Gayer than Jerry Jones is for blue-eyed Aryans.
Gentlemen, meet Clint Dolezel. Ladies, I’m sure you’ve already met. 420 touchdown passes? A number approached by noodle-armed weaklings. Call me when you throw roughly 400 more. Dr. Dolezel (for he has a Ph.D in putting the ball in the end zone), as of this evening, has thrown 802 touchdown passes. Eight. Hundred. And. Two. His goal is 1,000. Le Bureau International des Poids et Mesures classifies that as “A Metric Fuckton.”
Also, if you’re an opposing defensive back, he’ll come after you for a spot of conversation after throwing his 800th touchdown, and if you’re gauche enough to headbutt Dr. Dolezel at this point, not only will he accept it and use it as fuel, he will cut you from ear to ear.
Also, Andy Kelly of New Orleans has 793.
And Arizona’s Sherdrick Bonner has 785.
So… up yours, other (lesser) players.
But Otto Graham would have 2,000 touchdowns, so watch out for Zombie Otto Graham.
Don’t worry, Dan. This #13 will never win a Super Bowl, either.