A Great Quarterback, or The Greatest Quarterback?

16 04 2007

Fran TarkentonFrancis Asbury Tarkenton? Coward.

Brett Favre Brett Lorenzo Favre? Crybaby and a Nancy-Boy.

Dan Marino Daniel Constantine Marino, Jr.? Fraud. Wears capris. Often gets the vapors.

John Albert Elway, Jr., or Joseph William Namath? Pansies. Weaklings. Gayer than Jerry Jones is for blue-eyed Aryans.

Clint Dolezel Cropped

Gentlemen, meet Clint Dolezel. Ladies, I’m sure you’ve already met. 420 touchdown passes? A number approached by noodle-armed weaklings. Call me when you throw roughly 400 more. Dr. Dolezel (for he has a Ph.D in putting the ball in the end zone), as of this evening, has thrown 802 touchdown passes. Eight. Hundred. And. Two. His goal is 1,000. Le Bureau International des Poids et Mesures classifies that as “A Metric Fuckton.”

Also, if you’re an opposing defensive back, he’ll come after you for a spot of conversation after throwing his 800th touchdown, and if you’re gauche enough to headbutt Dr. Dolezel at this point, not only will he accept it and use it as fuel, he will cut you from ear to ear.

Also, Andy Kelly of New Orleans has 793.

And Arizona’s Sherdrick Bonner has 785.

So… up yours, other (lesser) players.

But Otto Graham would have 2,000 touchdowns, so watch out for Zombie Otto Graham.

Don’t worry, Dan. This #13 will never win a Super Bowl, either.




6 responses

17 04 2007
carl richards

I don’t care what level football you’re playing, 800 tds is still 800tds. I’ve had the opportunity to meet Clint a few times, he’s quite the character. Just the fact that we’re talking bout an AFL qb breaking a record shows how far this great league has come.

17 04 2007

For some reason my roommate and I were watching this game last night and talking about the greatness of Dr. Dolezel. The man can do no wrong. We feared we might blink and miss history. (again and again and again and again)

17 04 2007

Hello…Joe Montana. Best ever!

17 04 2007
Vince Mullins

I dig his little shovel pass to the motion wideout – it really isn’t fair, and quite interesting that no one has thought of it in the previous two decades of AFL.

18 04 2007

brett favre is the best ever

7 02 2008
lori p

BY FAR DAN MARINO……….. He was robbed ..
Jimmy Johnson took over.. thought hed do what he did for hurricanes… wnated a RUNNING game ;having the best arm in the NFL…CONFLICT!!! JJ ruined the DOLPHINS.. We r coming back thou… YOU WILL SEE!!!
DAN MARINO is by far theee best ever!!

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