Good News/Bad News: David Carr Signs With Carolina

7 04 2007

This headline may concern you, and that’s understandable. Never fear, the intrepid ISF Team remains committed to focusing primarily about football that could be confused with Madden mini-games. Nor have the Carolina Panthers been relegated to the Arena League, as though they were a soccer “football” team from West Bumpingham in Shropshire, UK. Nor has David Carr been concussed so hard that he thinks he’s gone back in time and signed with the Charlotte Rage. David Carr signing to be Jake Delhomme’s backup is good news/bad news for the world that we’re quixotically focused on. Allow me to elaborate, and in doing so, tenuously connect the signing of a backup quarterback in the NFL to the AFL:

The Bad News is that David Carr hasn’t been so tainted by the stench of the Houston Texans that he was to wander, lost and jobless, until the Georgia Force signed him to be the AFL’s Laser Rocket Arm. David Carr can throw the ball at roughly three times the speed of sound. He’d throw it off those nets so hard, he’d catch it and score his own touchdowns. He’d whip it into the stands and kill elderly patrons. It’d be great. But, that’s not going to happen, which is Bad News.

That scenario also can be found filed under “Highly Unlikely News.”

The Good News is that now Matt Schaub can completely fail to live up to potential, get murdered by the Texans O-Line and fall to the Arena League. An athletic, scrambling QB with a good arm, who’ll be 26/27 when Houston gives up on him? I can think of 18 teams that could use that kind of QB. Otherwise, he’s going to be the next Dave Krieg in the NFL, which sounds horrifying. Jump to the Arena League, Matt!

The Bad News is two-fold: a) we have to wait for that to happen, and b) being the next Dave Krieg also means you get to pull down an NFL salary until you’re 65, and you don’t actually have to be particularly skilled or even get hit often. So, also a fairly unlikely scenario.

The Really Bad News is a little more personal. By signing on as Mr. Delhomme’s backup, Mr. Carr moves The Superlative Brett Basanez to 3rd on Carolina’s depth chart. The thrilling possibilty of a Northwestern quarterback being a single heartbeat away from starting in the NFL has been wrecked by the encroachment of Mr. Carr.

The Really Good News is that perhaps – though I would infinitely rather seem him stick around in the NFL – Mr. Basanez can flip to the Arena League. Your editors would enjoy this scenario waaaaay too much. We’d totally get an interview with him, and it’d be like the Chris Farley skits on SNL. “So, Brett. Remember when you conducted the marching band that one time? [Awkward Pause] That was awwweeesome. We were there.”

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