When you’re not busy searching for hard-boiled eggs to celebrate the resurrection of a Jewish carpenter, you may want to check out the three weakest games of the weekend. If you’re a sadomasochist. Or if you plan on being ripped out of your mind.
FRIDAY: Arizona at Los Angeles, 10:30 PM EDT– The team that can’t finish takes a road trip to the team that can’t get started. It could be an Arizona blowout, or it could be a festival of errors, but regardless you can expect sometime towards the end of the third quarter LA QB Sonny Cumbie and Arizona QB Sherdrick Bonner will probably resolve their differences long enough to take a reviving catnap together at mid-field.
SATURDAY: New York at Grand Rapids, 7 PM EDT– New York QB Rohan Davey might be able to lead his squad to a win, but Grand Rapids could probably be beaten by a team comprised entirely of chimps from the Career Builder ad campaign.
SUNDAY: Kansas City at Las Vegas, 6 PM EDT– It’s a battle for the ages: Kansas City’s Raymond Philyaw and Las Vegas’ Shaun King. It’s on par with deciding if you’d rather have fish heads or a head-cheese sandwich for lunch. Actually, Kansas City will probably win this one, but it’ll be as much fun to watch as “The Godfather Part III”.
We suggest avoiding all of these games, which should be easy because ESPN isn’t carrying any of them. Your weekend would be better spent trying to find some sexy nurses with whom to have a pillow fight. Or seeing “Grindhouse“.
At It’s Still Football, we’re trying for both at the same time.