Whenever the crack reporters over at ESPN forget about the NCAA Tournament pish-posh and get back to reporting on the most-watched professional football league currently in-season, we suspect four teams will be heading up their Power Rankings. Our prediction (+10 points to you if you see a pattern):
#1: Dallas Desperados (2-0): The Experts say they’re the best team in the AFL. ESPN calls their WRs Will Pettis and Marcus Nash a ‘dynamic duo‘. We have no idea, because we have yet to see them play. But they’re owned by Jerry Jones, and that’s good enough for us. We’d rather not get in a feud with that dude.
#2: Georgia Force (2-0): Last week they beat the formidable Austin Wranglers, who started the season spanking the Las Vegas Gladiators. WRs Troy Bergeron, Chris Jackson, and Derek Lee… don’t play for the Chicago Cubs. Hence the winning record.
#3: Utah Blaze (2-0): QB Joe Germaine threw for 10 TDs last week and rushed for an 11th. He threw as many TDs in one game as Cleveland Browns QB Charlie Frye threw all season. Granted, though, it’s the Brownies – the Blaze’s defense is slightly better (good enough for second to last in the AFL – the Browns may not fare so well even in this league).
#4: Philadelphia Soul (1-0): They’ve only played one game, everyone else here’s played two. And really, putting them third in the Power Rankings after a week-one bye is just a dick move. Let’s see if they prove me wrong again tonight when they take on the Grand Rapids Rampage, who are nothing but a disappointment to me.
WEEK 3 CAN’T MISS RANDOM PICK: Chicago Rush 63, New York Dragons 10. Let us not get into the East Coast – West Coast (of Lake Michigan) debate – after nearly getting shut out in week one versus Dallas and having a week-two bye, New York just won’t be able to keep up with the defending Arena Bowl champions. That and they’re probably busy trying to find the ass-wipe that mugged the 101-year-old woman.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to run to Target on my lunch break to buy a small radio or television so I can watch the Madness of March at work.