The theme of the Can’t Miss Random Pick this week, following a victorious pick of San Jose over Las Vegas, is: DON’T FIX WHAT AIN’T BROKE. The CMRP is now 5-5 following our week 1 bye (also, we didn’t think of this feature until week 2), and I’d be willing to bet that potential playoff contender Utah won’t drop tonight’s game versus the horrendous, coach-less, Shaun King-less Gladiators. Las Vegas is so terrible I haven’t noticed that Tampa Bay has managed to win some football games – perhaps Primary Gruden put a disguised Jeff Garcia on loan?
ANYWAY, randomness is counting on Joe Germaine to continue to look like his head is a Peep in a microwave every time he throws the ball, and every time he throws the ball for it to go into the hands of a receiver in the end-zone.
WEEK 12 CAN’T MISS RANDOM PICK: UTAH 65, Las Vegas 35.
WEEK 12 WEEKEND PILLOW FIGHT ONCE AGAIN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE PRESIDENT’S HOT TWIN DAUGHTERS:
This week’s pillow fight is going to be painful. It’s a match between a team that can’t find its rhythm and a team that started strong but is in an uncontrollable tailspin.
We’re talking about the Philadelphia Soul hosting the New Orleans VooDoo. And we’re talking about Monday Night (Arena) Football.
This game will feature bad reads, turnovers, and dropped passes. You’re going to see drives that go nowhere, like Charles Barkley playing golf. You’re going to see both teams commit my favorite metaphor that I’m fairly sure I coined at least in part: squatting over and dropping a collective sporting turd on the field.
You might see Jaws get so distraught he actually suits up and gets behind center.
You might see all of these things.
I will not. Because I don’t think I could bring myself to watch this game even if doing so would get me my own pillow fight with the President’s daughters and a guarantee there will actually be Social Security left for me when I retire in 2000never.
Enjoy the game, sado-masochist viewers!