What On Earth Can We Expect: The New Orleans VooDoo
29 02 2008
One Fleur-de-Lis for each time I flashed my chest for beads when we were in N’awlins.
Facts:
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National Conference, Southern Division
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2007 record: 5-11; Arena Bowl championships - see alternate universe
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Nightmarish mascot “Bones” balanced by Muppet-ish/Phanatic-esqe “Mojo”
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Head Coach Mike Neu is a free agency mad genius
Paragraph About Upcoming Horror/Delight:
Time to be perfectly honest - most of the previews I’ve handled have been a cursory look at last year’s performance and any significant roster changes. Looking over this season’s roster, though, I am slack-jawed: Neu made some serious acquisitions on both sides of the ball, and I daresay that this New Orleans team I wouldn’t have noticed last season could be dangerous this year, even in a tough division with Georgia, Tampa Bay, and Orlando. If they’re this year’s Tampa Bay, I will gladly tell you I told you so.
Bullet Points About People:
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Newcomers WR/DB BJ Barre, DB Lin-J Shell, and WR Chris Horn (who seems to be in some NFL squad’s team every preseason) scheduled to go on team-building retreat in Louisiana outback
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Head coach Mike Neu’s main office located in abandoned oil platform in Caribbean that’s being upgraded into a Super Doom Fortress using FEMA debit cards
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QB Steve Bellisari nagging Tony Graziani to have an “Italian Off”; challenges to include recalling Dean Martin lyrics and naming as many salami varieties as possible in 20 seconds
The Good:
New additions to the team. Relative unknown QB Bellisari. Kicker Jonathan Ruffin won the Lou Groza award at Cincy. Red beans and rice.
The Bad:
Tempting nights out on Bourbon Street. Tough division. Overall lack of experience. Possibility of bad Mojo.
Completely Arbitrary Prediction:
The VooDoo rebound from a disappointing 2007 season with an 8-8 record because I’m not that confident in my sleeper pick. Mike Neu takes over New Orleans with a genetically-enhanced voodoo lady that shakes her stick and drives you crazy with that BOOGIE. BOOGIE. BOOGIE.
