Joseph Smith is visited by angels, who foretell of skinny field goals with nets
American Conference, Western Mitsubishi Division
The potency of the Blaze’s offense is perfectly counteracted by the impotency of the Blaze’s defense (3rd to last in 2007)
Finished 8-8 in 2007, lost in wild card round to Los Angeles
3rd string rookie QB Royal Gill is not a magical fish king
Northwestern alum DL Dwayne Missouri is ready to bring the pain, as well as mom’s cookies, to Blaze
A paragraph about upcoming Horror/Delight:
Give it to the Blaze, they’re only in the third season and looking for their third straight playoff appearance. Let’s just ignore the fact that ten teams make it to the playoffs each year, fact of the matter is that Joe Germaine leads one hell of an explosive offense, and with new rules freeing up the jack linebacker and the clutch addition of Missouri to the D line, Utah could be the whole package this season. Let’s ignore the fact that they don’t currently have a kicker on their roster, as Blaze veteran Steve Videtich refused to report to camp.
Bullet Points About People:
We still hold firm in our belief Joe Germaine’s face looks like a microwaved Marshmallow Peep.
Defensive Coordinator Hunkie Cooper is not a Slavic immigrant, but does work well with his hands
You’re invited to challenge their mascot, Chief, to perform various feats throughout the season. Yes, we will abuse this feature of the Blaze website frequently. Yes, we encourage you to send us ideas you’re submitting as well. Yes, we think this feature is a delightfully horrible idea.
Ohio State quarterbacks. Northwestern defensive lineman. Fire.
Defense. Pyromaniacs. Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign.
Completely Arbitrary Prediction:
Blaze finish regular season 10-6, lose in first round of playoffs to wild card team (I dunno, Cleveland?). Chief is sent to farm where he can run around all day long.