Wow. This is it. This is the end of the regular 2007 season of the AFL.
I’d go more in depth at the present moment, but (not to bitch about non-AFL trivialities such as work) I need to seriously get back to work – two nights with an extra four hours at the office, any my boss just totally caught me in the act of starting this draft. Sorry, Boss. At least I’m not across the street at the strip club [Ed. note for new readers: there is a strip club across the street from my office. I can see it from the window. Sometimes when I leave work late, there are women in minivans co-opting our parking lot like vagrants in an ATM vestibule, scowling, waiting for some poor dumb putz to wander out in a lusty-seedy haze to get slapped with a palm and divorce papers. It's fantastic. Fantastically depressing].
Before we jump into it, note that there are four teams that could get two playoff spots this week, and the various scenarios are batshit insane. By the way, I never thought I’d write this, but if Columbus wins their final game, they will clinch a spot in the playoffs. Amazing.
LAST-EVER REGULAR SEASON CMRP: Tampa Bay and Austin. Do you think I’ll go with Team Brett Dietz? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Tampa Bay 72, Austin 45. CMRP hopes to finish the season with a playoff-worthy record of 9-6.
WEEKEND PILLOW FIGHT: Nashville and Grand Rapids. Should be a piece of cake for the Kats to win and clinch a playoff berth, right? Sure, except that last week Nashville QB Jeff Pole Smoker was benched after missing team meetings. Let’s hope Jeff pulls his head out of his ass and gets the W for Nashville, because we’d love to have a few more weeks to call Jeff Pole Smoker “Jeff Pole Smoker”.
Lastly, as an apology for missing my promised weekend coverage and in anticipation of not being able to deliver this weekend (Lumberg’s gonna make me work this weekend, I can feel it), please enjoy this picture of Peyton Manning looking delightfully uncomfortable with having his photo taken with an underaged member of the opposite sex.