You Know Who Else Was a Dark Horse? James K. Polk.

In the annals of questionable decisions, electing to create a blog about the Arena Football League ranks as pretty ludicrous. We knew this: very few things could guarantee us fewer readers for our clever-ish writing. Another thing we know: we’re not going to be mistaken for a latter-day Adonis any time soon. Therefore, when the Ladies… announced that they’ve decided to form a “Hot Bloggers Bracket,” I immediately said, “It would be a terrible idea to enter ourselves! It’s ideal!” J-F responded, “It’s like they’re the soccer-team high school clique and as AFL bloggers, we’re like the Dungeons and Dragons crew,” and lo, it was to be.

Mind you, we’re not monstrous; in fact, there have been ladies (small “l” for now, perhaps a capital “L” later?) who find us downright attractive. One girl, specifically, found us both attractive, each in our own unique way, as we are not twins. Maybe Twins, but not twins. And only one of us would want to be a Twin. And I’m not fat and bald, like Danny Devito. But I digress. What we may lack in, say, abdominal definition and, in my case, what the Europeans refer to as “Height,” we certainly make up for in wit. It’s rapier-like, as I’m sure you’re aware … ladies.

Since we have to submit photos, here are some of us being harmless, delightful chaps, occasionally in a sporting context.

BREAKING! ADRIAN McPHERSON CUT BY AUSTIN WRANGLERS

McPHERSON “WAIVED” BY FOOTBALL-CESSPOOL AUSTIN WRANGLERS; EYEING OPEN QB SLOTS IN TAMPA BAY - BOTH AFL AND NFL, ‘CAUSE PRIMARY GRUDEN LOVES QBs AND TRENT GREEN IS TAKING HIS SWEET-ASS TIME

It figures. We were just about to slap the ‘Byron Leftwich 2.0′ tag on McPherson and he gets sent to the land of Shaun King. Only this time, you heard about it here first-ish. From our friends (we actually have no idea)(if they’re aware of us they probably hate us) at ArenaFanOnline:

“We felt like a change was needed at this point in the season,” said Wranglers General Manager Glyn Milburn. “This was a difficult decision, but we think this choice gives us the best chance to win and earn a spot in the post-season.”

Let us put this in perspective for everyone:

The Austin Wranglers : AFL :: The Oakland Raiders : NFL

The Austin Wranglers : an AFL playoff bid in 2007 :: Paris Hilton : free of gonorrhea

Ah well, Adrian. We wish you the best of luck. Say ‘hi’ to Shaun for us. Try not to get trampled by Trigger on the way out.

UPDATE: McPherson’s been re-signed!

Can’t Miss Random Pick Pity Party

More sad than Bobby Sippio blowing off SportsNation (or whatever it is he did - we think he must have had a good reason to not show up, or at least, that’s what we’re telling ourselves) is that the CMRP is struggling more than the Philadelphia Soul who managed to poop themselves defensively vs. the Kansas City Brigade. In any event, once again, we whanged our pick, going with New York over Columbus. This was wrong. Our horses were hitched to the triumphant return of New York QB Aaron Garcia whose 5 TDs equalled Matt Nagy’s total, but his two picks dropped the CMRP to 4-5, and the Dragons to 2-7.

Chris Griesen would be up for a midseason award if we were into that sort of thing, but since the research involved makes us want to take a nap instead, we’ll just say that he’s pretty good, and he and his Georgia Force teammates beat Orlando in a walk, 55-34. Georgia still sits atop whatever conference they’re in. The Prince of Wales Conference or something.

We’ll skip right to the Most Motor-Skills-Challenged of the Week award, because I want to mention the porous defense of the Nashville Kats. Whom I have decided I hate, because of their stupid logo, stupid spelling of Kats, and stupid Jeff Smoker. But they let somebody named Timon Marshall (who I sincerely hope is from Athens, GA, or OH, or something) wreck them in all phases. You can’t blame the defense for Timon of Athens’ fumble recovery for a TD, but you can blame them for the kick return and for the rushing TD and reception TD. From now on, the most impressive offensive performance of the week gets the Timon of Athens’ Obscene Wealth Award. He hit for the cycle this week. Good for him.

Okay. It’s after lunch now. I had work to do right after lunch in the ol’ Bankingdrome, so it’s after that, too.

Dallas beat a sneakyUtah team 66-59 with a TD pass in the closing seconds. Joe Germaine and the Blaze could make some noise, but they’re still a shootout team that can’t stop anybody. (Anyone remember them losing to Arizona 83-69 a couple weeks ago?)

Speaking of Arizona, they lost to San Jose, a team that keeps winning respectably and with slightly silly helmets. The SaberCats are 6-3 - who knew? Their only questionable loss is to New Orleans.

Which makes for another easy segue! Wait, no it doesn’t - the VooDoo had a bye week. Whoops. Well, I still hate the commercial for the Arena Bowl with all the Dixieland music. It’s just weird.

Los Angeles clobbered the pathetic Gladiators on Sunday night, with Las Vegas again not scoring any damn points (relatively speaking, of course, for the Arena League). How did they beat Grand Rapids 79-69 in week two? What happened? I’m so confused. Anyway, they’ve been ruled ineligible for the MMSC award for the rest of the year unless they do something remarkably inept.

Did I miss anybody? I hope not. That’s the weekend. In Review.

Sippio continues to toy with our emotions

Bobby, we don’t care if you had a game-high 15 receptions, 159 yards, and 5 TDs in a come-from-far-behind win against Colorado, 59-46.

Okay, we do care.

But we don’t. We’re utterly ironically detached from this league.

But we’re so excited for you to graduate to the NFL and make Sexy Rexy look sexier.

Oh dammit. Why don’t you call? What did we do? We can change, we swear.

We hate you.

We love you.

No, we hate you.

…forgive us? Please?