Coach Hohensee Also Displeased

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After getting into a fight with a sedan on April 27th, Rush coach Mike Hohensee was unable to prowl the sidelines at the Rush/Soul game that we attended and discussed a week ago. He was forced to call plays from one of Allstate Arena’s few skyboxes where he glowered from on high, and was introduced in such a way that we were convinced he was going to quiet the crowd, and then start singing “Don’t cry for me, Arena Football.”

Infiltrating SportsNation: Bobby Sippio breaks our hearts

The gents of ISF were totally excited to heap praise upon Chicago Rush WR/Demigod Bobby Sippio as he joined ESPN’s SportsNation this afternoon.

We were going to ask him about his glue-soaked man/bear claws, what it’s like to have wings for feet and Pennzoil GT Performance Grade for blood.

We were going to congratulate him for dominating the AFL, and thank him for giving all six Chicago-based diehard AFL fans (we are not ‘diehard’ or even ‘fans’) a hope for at least one professional football title this year.

He didn’t show.

We’re going to go softly cry in the men’s room, suck our thumbs, and regret the fact we’re going to be pulling for Chicago in tonight’s C/Rush Bowl on ESPN2 as the Rush host Elway’s boys from Colorado, even though we’ll be downing Breyer’s and going through boxes of tissues.

The worst part is that we know deep in our hearts that if he apologized, we would forgive him in a second, only to be stood up again. At least we’re not rearing any of his children.

You’ll Get Short Posts and Like Them

I think it’s worth mentioning that Deadspin brought Bobby Sippio’s website to my attention. I clearly should’ve known about this already. Frankly, the website is a mess, but who cares? The guy catches touchdown passes. And dances in the stands.

Is It That Time Already?

Holy crap, guys, we made it through half a season of Arena Football! I know this because Grampa Gary has some midseason awards. Well, we’ll just have to get on the stick and start giving out the “coveted” It’s Still Football midseason awards pretty soon. Be on the lookout for that. Over the weekend you didn’t watch: Las Vegas’  comprehensive ineptitude; Georgia’s continuation of their winning streak; Dallas’ surviving against the mysteriously-dangerous Blaze; Philly’s disconcerting slide; Grand Rapids’ and San Jose’s tidy wins; Tampa Bay’s dispatching Austin; and the CMRP’s choke job re: New York vs. Columbus. Further analysis will be provided, post-tonight’s MN(A)F game at the Allstate Rosemont Arena Horizon. Colorado at Chicago. They have it going on.

Quick note on that game, by the by: if the Rush play like they did last week, they’re screwed. The wheels are falling off of Philadelphia’s season, and Juston Wood put a bit of a scare into the Rush last week. Columbus, meanwhile, is taking the opposite vector, and getting things together. This could be a close game. Of course, my saying that probably means it’s going to be a blow out. Whatever.

This has been a placeholder post to remind the ISF team that they might want to work on some mid-season posts, what with Grampa Gary rousting himself from his barcalounger and turning the volume down on Fox News Channel to bang out his midseason awards on his IBM Selectric, putting the column in an envelope, addressing it to “ESPN.com, The Internet, USA,” and having his assistant intercept it and post it.

P.S. I’m not reading Grandpa Gary’s column until I write some funny midseason stuff, so I won’t have foreknowledge of what our fine brittle friend thinks. Any agreement with that specific coot, therefore, will be purely coincidental.