Preview for Monday Night (Arena) Football: Betting Odds

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to watch all of tonight’s match, already underway, of Philly at Columbus, and I suspect TC has been sent north to rural Wisconsin to find some fresh springtime mammals to slaughter upon the altar of Investment Banking Overlord Snacking. So instead, I’ll offer some wagers, which of course you won’t be able to place because the game is already 5 minutes in (no score).

1:1 Either Philly or Columbus wins

2:1 ESPN shows the clip of Graziani getting creamed a minimum of five times [UPDATE: They just showed it three times]

4:1 Either Jaws or Bon Jovi makes an obscene gesture after a questionable call

2:1 Someone reminds the viewers ‘there is no punting in arena football’ [UPDATE: Just happened]

5,000:1 One of the teams actually plays a little defense [UPDATE: Almost 10 minutes in and it is tied at 0]

10,000,000,000:1 Arena Football beats 24 in the ratings

10^100:1 After I turn off the television, someone on the planet will still be tuned in to ESPN2